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Steve Berman (Skit)

48



[Door creaks open]

[Background music "What's The Difference" by Dr. Dre]



[Eminem:] Eyyy!

[Steve:] Hey Em, what's up?

[Eminem:]

Steve Berman. What's goin' on, man, how you doin'?

Good to see you again. What's up?

[Steve:] Em, could you come in here and have a seat, please?

[Eminem:] Um, yeah, what's...

[Steve:] Vanessa? Shut the door

[Vanessa:] Okay [door creaks shut:]

[Eminem:] So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week?

[Steve:] It would be better if you gave me nothing at all

[Eminem:] Wh...

[Steve:] This album is less than nothing. I can't sell this fucking record

[Eminem:] Wha...

[Steve:] Do you know what's happening to me out there?

[Eminem:] Wh-wha-what's the problem?

[Steve:] Violet Brown told me to go fuck myself!

[Eminem:] Who's Violet...?

[Steve:]

Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass!

Do you know what it feels like

To be told to have a record shoved up your ass?

[Eminem:] But, I...

[Steve:]

I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this

You know why Dre's record was so successful?

He's rappin' about big-screen TVs, blunts, 40s and bitches.

You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicodin

[Eminem:] I mean-

[Steve:] I can't sell this shit!

[Eminem:] What...

[Steve:] Either change the record or it's not coming out!

[Eminem:] What, I...

[Steve:] Now get the fuck out of my office!

[Eminem:] What am I supposed...

[Steve:] Now!

[Eminem:] Alright man...

 

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